tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3873176583084736685.post4600607336556473412..comments2021-03-01T16:45:18.442-07:00Comments on Between The Minds ~ The Beehive: Integrating At Night...?Beehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02389501651154868657noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3873176583084736685.post-3703173160194847842010-04-29T17:50:36.192-07:002010-04-29T17:50:36.192-07:00Tempy,
Don't worry, you did not offend! You ha...Tempy,<br />Don't worry, you did not offend! You have actually been very helpful. <br /><br />I have also been wondering why she has been pushing the boundaries issue with my mom. I haven't wanted to say anything because no one else has said anything so I've kept quiet. Maybe now I will ask her why it is such a pressing issue.<br /><br />My T has never worked with someone else who has DID. When she diagnosed me (along with three other therapists) she was learning along with me. But she has really stepped up and researched so much and has talked and worked with many other therapist who are experienced in treating people with DID. There are rare times where I can tell she doesn't know exactly what to do with me, but I trust her a lot. But when she brought up this "integrating at night" this past week, I just couldn't express how badly it freaked me out and how it just wouldn't work. But she kept insisting that it would work, that I should just start it. I don't know... I really think it is a bad idea and I know she has the best intentions... She just seems so set on the idea that it will work and I just don't think it will. And I'm glad you feel the same way. It just doesn't make sense and I like what you said, "It sounds like a dangerous move in some regards, as if parts can freely meld and unmeld. I don't think that's how it works...and I don't think the dissociation spectrum allows for that when you have DID." I don't think that is how DID works at all. I guess I have something to talk to her about on Tuesday. And like you said, if I were to tell my splits to "integrate at night" they would FREAK OUT. I would be worse off, I know that much. <br />Thank you so much for your comment. <br /><br />-BeeBeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02389501651154868657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3873176583084736685.post-55005967491079822292010-04-29T16:41:42.453-07:002010-04-29T16:41:42.453-07:00Hi Bee,
I have some thoughts...and I feel reluct...Hi Bee, <br /><br />I have some thoughts...and I feel reluctant to share because I am not sure I can articulate them the correct way, but at the risk of sounding offensive without meaning to, here are my thoughts for what it's worth. <br /><br />The first piece I struggle with understanding is your therapists seemingly endless pressure for you to speak and set boundaries with your mother. I wonder why it's so important that you have all these disclosures with your mother when you are an adult and not really all that dependent upon her. I feel at times like it causes more stress and more uproar than is needed. As a grown up, it's always your choice what your parents know and at a certain point there are just things you don't talk to your parents about. So when you say that stuff isn't her business, I agree. <br /><br />As far as 'integrating' parts at night, I have never heard of that. It sounds like a dangerous move in some regards, as if parts can freely meld and unmeld. I don't think that's how it works...and I don't think the dissociation spectrum allows for that when you have DID. What I have heard of is creating safe places internally, or rooms or whatever parts feel safe doing and having a routine of making sure all parts go to their safe places at night to allow the entire body to sleep. Creating and internal structure that allows for them to get their needs met and the WHOLE person some sleep. If I mentioned to my parts that I was going to 'integrate' them or force them to become one person at night, total chaos would ensue. It would be really ugly and actually never happen. <br /><br />I dunno, it sounds like you are close with your therapist and that she has every intention in the world to be helpful, but it also sounds like she may not be trained exactly in treating DID. <br /><br />I hope I didn't offend, I only meant to help.Tempyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13727040330385645404noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3873176583084736685.post-81456887421352541852010-04-28T10:40:46.814-07:002010-04-28T10:40:46.814-07:00Lisa,
Integration has never really been my goal. M...Lisa,<br />Integration has never really been my goal. My T doesn't think I would know how to function in reality if I didn't have at least a couple of splits still around. My T just wanted me to try integration at night - and at night only. It just seems like a really weird concept to me I guess... We were all too freaked out about the idea to try it last night so I ended not sleeping again. But I like your idea of "all falling asleep together". That sounds WAY less threatening!<br />I've actually been with my T for 5 years. I've tried other therapists (while still seeing her) and no one else worked for me. She has been so awesome and I'm very happy to be working with her. <br />I also need to work on the boundary thing with my mom. It will definitely take some practice!<br />I think it will be easier for me once the semester is over. My classes will be done, my internship will be over, and I won't have to worry about due dates and such. I will be able to just focus on working full time over the summer and sleeping better. By the middle of summer though, I will be wishing I was back in school, haha. Funny how that works!<br />Thanks for commenting!<br /><br />-BeeBeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02389501651154868657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3873176583084736685.post-30928646640881186832010-04-28T10:29:27.430-07:002010-04-28T10:29:27.430-07:00That is a really good question! I like that idea. ...That is a really good question! I like that idea. Perhaps you could start slowly, like asking everyone to lay down on a big, soft, warm bean-bag, get comfy, and just fall asleep together. If something like that works for you, and you are sleeping easier, then move on towards integration, if that is your goal. I'm not so sure it can "cure" you, but it may make your life a little more manageable. After all, you became multiple because it was the most positive thing you could do under extremely negative circumstances. To tell your System that being multiple itself is negative contradicts it's original purpose. Does that make sense? <br /><br />We had therapy this morning, too, and were discussing things that happen when I'm sleeping. We are going to start with positive affirmations and internal dialogue and see if that helps.<br /><br />You've been with your T for 4 years? Wow. I used to quit a lot and then I found this terrific therapist after 24 years.<br /><br />Boundaries are difficult, especially with moms. That was good advice you got, though. When I know I may have to deal with my mother I need to practice things like "It's none of your business", "That's a very rude, opinionated thing to say.", "And what do you base THAT particular fact on?" out loud until I feel confident that I can say those automatically. She works very hard to manipulate my thinking and tries to pull information out of me or make me feel like a horrible daughter. I still need to recover for a day or two after dealing with her, but it's all on my terms and conditions now. <br /><br />Do you think it will be easier or more difficult when the semester's over?<br /><br />LisaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com