Sunday, November 25, 2012

Things I Don't Tell My ____

I don't tell my T that I just need to hold her hand.

I don't tell my sister that she got married too young.

I don't tell my roommate that I remember every detail from my nightmares.

I don't tell my family that I struggle every day.

I don't tell my best friend that my eating disorder is still a problem.

I don't tell my friends that I feel like I'm always lying because I'm so different.

I don't tell my doctor that my anxiety levels are so high that I can't breathe.

I don't tell my T that I feel so lost.

I don't tell my mom that I stopped going to church because it was too triggering. 

I don't tell my significant other that I switch more than they realize.

I don't tell my co-worker that I'm scared to go back to work.

I don't tell my dead best friend's husband "I told you so."

I don't tell my roommate that my best friend comes over each morning to make sure I'm okay.

I don't tell my T that I'm desperate to remember all of the bad things because I'm afraid of not knowing the truth.

I don't tell my sister that I remember those memories/events too.

I don't tell my friend R that I still don't trust her. 

I don't tell my dad that I don't believe in everything he believes in. 

I don't tell my pharmacist that he's a pain in the @$$.

I don't tell my T that I still have many secrets she doesn't know about.



  1. There's a lot to be said for not saying anything at all. I do find myself hoping you can tell your T the things you mentioned about her.

  2. When I told my T that I was not sharing many of those same things, he nodded his head and then he told me, "Yes, I understand. You worked hard to have all that, you don't want to give them up so easily." Three years later, I understood. You will, too, some day. But for now, know that your uniqueness is what makes you, you. We tend to think our DID (it could be anything else that society considers "severe")is worse than it really is. Don't fret over not telling, but you have to take responsibility for not telling, if needs be. Let it all go and just be who you are. Obviously, your significant other, your family, etc love you for who you are - not for who you will be after you spill all your secrets. Know what? I found out that "normal" people aren't so normal, really, they have their secrets, too - ones that they hide from others and ones that they just plain hide from. You and I aren't so different from them. Hang in there.