I have just finished making all of my alters an avatar! That was so much fun :) You can see them all here.
I leave in a couple hours to go back to my grandparents house. I am very glad, too, because my two youngest sisters - Raena and Ruthie - are driving me insane! I know they are at that "awkward stage" in life where you're trying to figure out who you are and your hormones are drastically changing and you have to be 'perfect' all the time, but it gets old... And my mom has been especially clingy lately and I really can't deal with that right now. I need to be able to focus on myself and my alters because we're having a really difficult time right now. I will miss Bri and Brooke though. We usually end up texting or talking on the phone constantly throughout the week.
Making those avatars was really fun though. I got to spend a little time with each alter as we created their avatar and there wasn't any pressure or negative feelings. We just enjoyed being with each other and creating something. That is really rare for me and some of the alters who like to stir up trouble. It was nice to see a better side of them.
-Bee
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Avatars
I have nothing new to report today. I've been in bed for most of the day because I have been so sick.
But while I was lying in bed, I came across this really cool website where you can create avatars for free. So I have been making an avatar that looks like each one of my alters and I have been adding them to "My Splits" page. If you have some time, go take a look! Since I can't draw, I thought this was pretty close to the next best thing :) For now anyway.
Enjoy!
-Bee
But while I was lying in bed, I came across this really cool website where you can create avatars for free. So I have been making an avatar that looks like each one of my alters and I have been adding them to "My Splits" page. If you have some time, go take a look! Since I can't draw, I thought this was pretty close to the next best thing :) For now anyway.
Enjoy!
-Bee
Friday, May 21, 2010
Power vs Force
What is the difference between the two?
T and I talked about this during our session today. She asked me how power and force were different. I said when I think of force, I think of "push" and when I think of power, I think "pull".
She then asked me if I created my splits out of power or force. I thought about it for a minute, and then I said "force".
'Why did you say that?' she asked.
'Because,' I said, 'I forced myself to split so I didn't have to deal with the hurt and the pain and the abuse anymore.'
'You are right on,' she said. 'What do you think the splits use now? Power or force?'
I wasn't quite sure how to answer this question. When I think of power, I think of control. When someone has power, they have control. When I think of my splits, I don't necessarily see them as having power - or control - right now, because of the rapid switching, dissociating, and major loss of, well, control. I didn't think they used force either, because if that were the case then I would be in a very bad state right now. And although I feel like I am crashing down hard and fast, I don't think it is because they are forcing that upon me. So I answered, 'Power. Except, I don't think they have either right now.'
'You are right on.'
We then talked about regaining that power for myself and the splits. Someone needs to be in control - in a good way. There needs to be healthy decisions going on, a secure and safe system, a way to deal with simple and hard things. We need to be able to sleep at night to function during the day. We need to be able to focus and remember things. We need to get better physically. Right now we are not in that place, so we need to find our way back.
T and I then talked about my need for control.
We try so hard to be in control. On the outside, we make it look like we are normal, and possibly as far from in control as possible so no one knows that we are in control. Even though deep down in us somewhere we know we can never be in control, which seems to push us to want to be in even more control. And that vicious cycle just keeps going round and round until we break.
She told me that this will cause us to self-destruct and completely fall apart. I agree with her.
So my assignment this week is to let it go. Don't try so hard to control everything and just let it go. Part of my assignment is to write down the things that I feel I have a need to control and why I feel I need to control them. I have two weeks to do this since we cannot meet next week due to Memorial Day weekend.
I also brought up with her about how I feel that she has been acting different and how I don't feel that she is really hearing me (see post). She told me she had had a couple of rough weeks but it is over now and she is back on track. She showed me all of her notes from our more recent sessions and I am surprised at how good of a note taker she is. I feel so much better about the whole situation. When I walked in right before our session, I could just tell she was doing so much better and she looked happy. It was such a huge comfort after such a rough couple of weeks.
And also you can see that I did not leave town to go be with K for the weekend. I talked to Rae last night and this morning and we decided that it would be better if we stagger our visits so that K can have support for a longer period of time instead of all in one weekend. I agreed with this and I am actually very relived. I really needed to see T and I was under way too much stress. I am hopefully going to be going to visit K next weekend.
I also got my student teaching assignment this afternoon! I am very excited and I will actually be student teaching in one of my old elementary schools, so that should be interesting. I was assigned 4th grade which is a HUGE relief! I really want to teach 5th - 9th grades and I was so worried that I was going to get K-3 or something, but 4th is great. I am very excited! I still don't have my other student teaching assignment. Since I am a dual major (Special Ed and Elementary Ed) I will do 8 weeks regular ed and 8 weeks special ed, so I am still waiting on my special ed assignment. I am hoping for a junior high placement so we'll see!
Okay this post is long enough. I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!
-Bee
T and I talked about this during our session today. She asked me how power and force were different. I said when I think of force, I think of "push" and when I think of power, I think "pull".
She then asked me if I created my splits out of power or force. I thought about it for a minute, and then I said "force".
'Why did you say that?' she asked.
'Because,' I said, 'I forced myself to split so I didn't have to deal with the hurt and the pain and the abuse anymore.'
'You are right on,' she said. 'What do you think the splits use now? Power or force?'
I wasn't quite sure how to answer this question. When I think of power, I think of control. When someone has power, they have control. When I think of my splits, I don't necessarily see them as having power - or control - right now, because of the rapid switching, dissociating, and major loss of, well, control. I didn't think they used force either, because if that were the case then I would be in a very bad state right now. And although I feel like I am crashing down hard and fast, I don't think it is because they are forcing that upon me. So I answered, 'Power. Except, I don't think they have either right now.'
'You are right on.'
We then talked about regaining that power for myself and the splits. Someone needs to be in control - in a good way. There needs to be healthy decisions going on, a secure and safe system, a way to deal with simple and hard things. We need to be able to sleep at night to function during the day. We need to be able to focus and remember things. We need to get better physically. Right now we are not in that place, so we need to find our way back.
T and I then talked about my need for control.
We try so hard to be in control. On the outside, we make it look like we are normal, and possibly as far from in control as possible so no one knows that we are in control. Even though deep down in us somewhere we know we can never be in control, which seems to push us to want to be in even more control. And that vicious cycle just keeps going round and round until we break.
She told me that this will cause us to self-destruct and completely fall apart. I agree with her.
So my assignment this week is to let it go. Don't try so hard to control everything and just let it go. Part of my assignment is to write down the things that I feel I have a need to control and why I feel I need to control them. I have two weeks to do this since we cannot meet next week due to Memorial Day weekend.
I also brought up with her about how I feel that she has been acting different and how I don't feel that she is really hearing me (see post). She told me she had had a couple of rough weeks but it is over now and she is back on track. She showed me all of her notes from our more recent sessions and I am surprised at how good of a note taker she is. I feel so much better about the whole situation. When I walked in right before our session, I could just tell she was doing so much better and she looked happy. It was such a huge comfort after such a rough couple of weeks.
And also you can see that I did not leave town to go be with K for the weekend. I talked to Rae last night and this morning and we decided that it would be better if we stagger our visits so that K can have support for a longer period of time instead of all in one weekend. I agreed with this and I am actually very relived. I really needed to see T and I was under way too much stress. I am hopefully going to be going to visit K next weekend.
I also got my student teaching assignment this afternoon! I am very excited and I will actually be student teaching in one of my old elementary schools, so that should be interesting. I was assigned 4th grade which is a HUGE relief! I really want to teach 5th - 9th grades and I was so worried that I was going to get K-3 or something, but 4th is great. I am very excited! I still don't have my other student teaching assignment. Since I am a dual major (Special Ed and Elementary Ed) I will do 8 weeks regular ed and 8 weeks special ed, so I am still waiting on my special ed assignment. I am hoping for a junior high placement so we'll see!
Okay this post is long enough. I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!
-Bee
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Shaking From the Stress
I want to cry/scream/run/break down all at the same time.
This morning my best friend K called me. Her mom passed away. (Her dad passed away when she was younger, so she has no parents, no grandparents, and one great grandma left and K is only 23).
I had the most horrible nightmare last night - I woke up covered in blood, puke, and urine which hasn't happened to me since I was ritually abused.
A new alter popped up today. Her name is Kamry and she is 2.
I have four doctor's appointments tomorrow after work that are over an hour away.
I have been switching so much today, I'm not sure which way is up.
And K really really wants me to go stay with her this weekend - she lives three hours away.
So I have to decide which doctor's appointments to cancel, how I am going to avoid going back to my parents house so I only have to drive 3 hours instead of 5, and how I am going to make myself okay enough to be there for her one hundred percent.
I am VERY stressed out right now.
I am breathing and focusing on calming myself down. Everything will be okay and everything will work out if this is what needs to happen right now.
**Trigger warning**
My dream was so horrible. I was stuck in this tiny room, backed up against a wall. I felt like I was about 10 or 11 years old. Three of my past abusers were there (my uncle, and two of my Grandma C's ex husbands). They took turns raping me for what felt like hours. They were saying disgusting and demeaning things to me. I felt like I was going to die. And no matter how hard I tried, I could not get them off of me. I could not hurt them. I could not scream. I could hardly move. And I couldn't wake up. I have never had a dream feel so real before.
I woke up not knowing how old I was or where I was. And then I saw the blood and vomit and urine - I started bawling.
It took me two hours to calm myself down and realize where I was, how old I was, and that my abusers were no where near me.
**End of triggers**
So my day has been pretty rough. Luckily I only have a half a day at work tomorrow due to all of the doctor appointments.
I have a feeling I won't be sleeping tonight...
And if I do end up going to stay with K for the weekend, I don't plan on taking my laptop so I may be offline for the next couple of days.
-Bee
P.S. Did I mention that if I go see K this weekend that my ex-best friend Rae will be there also? Ya...I'm freaking out.
This morning my best friend K called me. Her mom passed away. (Her dad passed away when she was younger, so she has no parents, no grandparents, and one great grandma left and K is only 23).
I had the most horrible nightmare last night - I woke up covered in blood, puke, and urine which hasn't happened to me since I was ritually abused.
A new alter popped up today. Her name is Kamry and she is 2.
I have four doctor's appointments tomorrow after work that are over an hour away.
I have been switching so much today, I'm not sure which way is up.
And K really really wants me to go stay with her this weekend - she lives three hours away.
So I have to decide which doctor's appointments to cancel, how I am going to avoid going back to my parents house so I only have to drive 3 hours instead of 5, and how I am going to make myself okay enough to be there for her one hundred percent.
I am VERY stressed out right now.
I am breathing and focusing on calming myself down. Everything will be okay and everything will work out if this is what needs to happen right now.
**Trigger warning**
My dream was so horrible. I was stuck in this tiny room, backed up against a wall. I felt like I was about 10 or 11 years old. Three of my past abusers were there (my uncle, and two of my Grandma C's ex husbands). They took turns raping me for what felt like hours. They were saying disgusting and demeaning things to me. I felt like I was going to die. And no matter how hard I tried, I could not get them off of me. I could not hurt them. I could not scream. I could hardly move. And I couldn't wake up. I have never had a dream feel so real before.
I woke up not knowing how old I was or where I was. And then I saw the blood and vomit and urine - I started bawling.
It took me two hours to calm myself down and realize where I was, how old I was, and that my abusers were no where near me.
**End of triggers**
So my day has been pretty rough. Luckily I only have a half a day at work tomorrow due to all of the doctor appointments.
I have a feeling I won't be sleeping tonight...
And if I do end up going to stay with K for the weekend, I don't plan on taking my laptop so I may be offline for the next couple of days.
-Bee
P.S. Did I mention that if I go see K this weekend that my ex-best friend Rae will be there also? Ya...I'm freaking out.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Counting Down to Friday
I am currently debating whether or not to post today. Obviously if you are reading this then I ended up posting after all.
Today was a little bit better. I managed to sleep for 45 minutes and it apparently did something good for me.
My whole body was completely swollen all day and I felt horrible. I told my mom to call the doctor and hopefully I will get in this Friday. If not, I will have to wait a while.
T finally e-mailed me back this morning. She's planning on seeing me Friday afternoon.
I am counting down the days until Friday.
-Bee
Today was a little bit better. I managed to sleep for 45 minutes and it apparently did something good for me.
My whole body was completely swollen all day and I felt horrible. I told my mom to call the doctor and hopefully I will get in this Friday. If not, I will have to wait a while.
T finally e-mailed me back this morning. She's planning on seeing me Friday afternoon.
I am counting down the days until Friday.
-Bee
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Dissociating Like Mad
I am beyond exhausted today - I was falling asleep at my desk this morning for the first 3 to 4 hours. I have had so many things trigger memories for me today that I am mentally and emotionally exhausted as well. I'm surprised I haven't started crying yet.
I really want to see my T. Things are getting so much worse for me right now and the dissociating is getting so bad that not only do I not remember most things, but my splits aren't able to remember much either - which means they are dissociating as well. Great...
Going running in the mornings doesn't seem to help me like it used to, but I'm not going to stop. I'm hoping that eventually it will start to help all of us clear our mind and become more in tune with one another.
I'm too foggy/dissociated right now to write anymore.
I really want to see my T. Things are getting so much worse for me right now and the dissociating is getting so bad that not only do I not remember most things, but my splits aren't able to remember much either - which means they are dissociating as well. Great...
Going running in the mornings doesn't seem to help me like it used to, but I'm not going to stop. I'm hoping that eventually it will start to help all of us clear our mind and become more in tune with one another.
I'm too foggy/dissociated right now to write anymore.
Monday, May 17, 2010
It's Only Monday
Today was very long and exhausting. I have been up since 3 am - not by choice - and after two hours of trying to fall back asleep, I decided to get up and go running. All day was very slow at work and I was stuck doing the same thing for 8 hours straight. My brain feels numb and I'm dissociating like crazy today.
I'm still in a lot of pain, which is probably why I feel so foggy right now. I'm thinking I will go to bed early tonight and pray that I sleep long enough to recover somewhat.
I love being with my grandparents. They are amazing and I feel so safe and protected here. I don't have to worry about any of my abusers coming over or anything of the sort. I am finally able to breathe and relax.
It has been hard going for so long without having a session with my T. I still haven't heard back from her if Friday is good for her or not. I really hope it is because if it isn't, it will be a couple more weeks until I can see her again (she will be out of town and then I will be out of town). Crossing my fingers on this one.
I hope all of you had good starts to your week! And thank you so much for reading and your comments. They mean so much to me :)
-Bee
I'm still in a lot of pain, which is probably why I feel so foggy right now. I'm thinking I will go to bed early tonight and pray that I sleep long enough to recover somewhat.
I love being with my grandparents. They are amazing and I feel so safe and protected here. I don't have to worry about any of my abusers coming over or anything of the sort. I am finally able to breathe and relax.
It has been hard going for so long without having a session with my T. I still haven't heard back from her if Friday is good for her or not. I really hope it is because if it isn't, it will be a couple more weeks until I can see her again (she will be out of town and then I will be out of town). Crossing my fingers on this one.
I hope all of you had good starts to your week! And thank you so much for reading and your comments. They mean so much to me :)
-Bee
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Pain
My whole life has revolved around pain - both physical and emotional. I have many physical problems - TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint disorder - (severe pain in jaw)), Fibromyalgia, severe food allergies, severe allergies in general, head migraines, abdominal migraines, collapsed foot, and the list goes on... I am constantly being prescribed pain meds and muscle relaxers just so I can get out of bed in the morning. Most of these things will get worse over time and are not treatable.
For the past week I have been having severe TMJ pain so I have been taking Ibuprofen (which I am very allergic to). It helps with the pain enough to tolerate it, but the ibuprofen just totally eats up and destroys my stomach - causing a whole new severe pain. Every day I contemplate if I want severe jaw pain and a little stomach pain or severe stomach pain and a little jaw pain. Neither is preferred, and both result in me not being able to eat. I just want to cry.
Today I have been trying so hard not to take the ibuprofen, but right now my jaw is screaming at me and it is causing a lovely head migraine which is also starting to scream at me. I want to cave in a just take the ibuprofen but I know my stomach will be so upset. I wish I could find a doctor who could help me with my TMJ. I have tried so many doctors with only temporary relief. Surgery is not an option for me because of how severe my TMJ is. The doctors are afraid I will be worse off with surgery. Right now I want my jaw to be removed completely.
Tomorrow I start working full time, which means I will be partially moving in with my grandparents so I don't have to drive an hour to work and an hour back home. I'm really looking forward to this arrangement because it will give me a much needed break from my family and it will allow me to spend time with my grandparents. I absolutely love them and they are such an amazing example to me.
I am going to take some ibuprofen now. Maybe I can sleep through the stomach pain....
For the past week I have been having severe TMJ pain so I have been taking Ibuprofen (which I am very allergic to). It helps with the pain enough to tolerate it, but the ibuprofen just totally eats up and destroys my stomach - causing a whole new severe pain. Every day I contemplate if I want severe jaw pain and a little stomach pain or severe stomach pain and a little jaw pain. Neither is preferred, and both result in me not being able to eat. I just want to cry.
Today I have been trying so hard not to take the ibuprofen, but right now my jaw is screaming at me and it is causing a lovely head migraine which is also starting to scream at me. I want to cave in a just take the ibuprofen but I know my stomach will be so upset. I wish I could find a doctor who could help me with my TMJ. I have tried so many doctors with only temporary relief. Surgery is not an option for me because of how severe my TMJ is. The doctors are afraid I will be worse off with surgery. Right now I want my jaw to be removed completely.
Tomorrow I start working full time, which means I will be partially moving in with my grandparents so I don't have to drive an hour to work and an hour back home. I'm really looking forward to this arrangement because it will give me a much needed break from my family and it will allow me to spend time with my grandparents. I absolutely love them and they are such an amazing example to me.
I am going to take some ibuprofen now. Maybe I can sleep through the stomach pain....
Friday, May 14, 2010
What Happened, T?
Today has been so hard... I can't remember anything at all. I think I'm dissociating so badly at this point that I don't even know if "I" am actually out.
I have been holding back these feelings about my T for a few weeks now, hoping that things would straighten out and turn out to be nothing but they seem to be getting worse.
Lately, I feel like my T is having memory problems. We talk about something really big or important in a session, and then the next week it will come up again and she will act like it is completely new and I am sitting there telling her that no, it is not new - we just talked about it last week. But she will have no memory of it. She proceeds to tell me that it is a "breakthrough" and so on. This has happened so many times over the past two or three months that I am beginning to wonder what is going on with her...
Then there are things that we have worked on in the past that I am done working through and I have healed and moved on, but she proceeds to bring them up over and over and wants me to keep working on them. Sometimes she brings up things from so long ago that I have completely forgotten about them. She isn't purposely bringing up old stuff - it is like she has totally forgotten what we have done and she really wants me to be able to work through them. Only problem is, I've already done it!
She has never had a problem like this before. She usually has a much better memory than I do. I don't know if I should be worried about this or what. I tried talking to her about it about two or three weeks ago but she didn't seem to understand how concerned I was about it. And then the next session it was like we never had talked about it at all. Is this totally weird? Or am I reading way too much into things?
Sometimes I wonder if she is actually writing things down on her notepad that I am saying or if she is just scribbling nothing. She tells me she will e-mail me after our session - like a specific assignment for me or the splits, or things she wants me to bring to the next session, or things to start thinking about, etc - but she never e-mails me. And when I show up at the next session, she doesn't even mention the assignments she was suppose to e-mail me! It's just so confusing... She's not even old - she's about 42 or 43. I don't know. I just really don't know.
I didn't get to see her on Tuesday because her daughter was really sick and I thought I would be okay with it but today has just been so hard for me that I am really wishing I had seen her. Now I have to wait until next Friday because I start working full time on Monday, and that's only if her schedule works out.
And that's another thing. In our last session I told her that I would be switching to working full time during the summer and that I would need to start meeting with her on either Monday mornings or Friday afternoons. She told me that Friday afternoons would be perfect for her and to plan on that for the summer. So today I e-mailed her to confirm next Friday, and she told me that she didn't know if it would work and she would get back to me. Um...what?! She had just said that she could!! I am so confused....
I'm not sure what to do with this whole situation. I really love my T and I don't want to stop going to her, but I feel like something is going on with her that is starting to affect our sessions and my getting better. Should I bring it up with her again and see if we actually get somewhere with it? I just don't know...
I have been holding back these feelings about my T for a few weeks now, hoping that things would straighten out and turn out to be nothing but they seem to be getting worse.
Lately, I feel like my T is having memory problems. We talk about something really big or important in a session, and then the next week it will come up again and she will act like it is completely new and I am sitting there telling her that no, it is not new - we just talked about it last week. But she will have no memory of it. She proceeds to tell me that it is a "breakthrough" and so on. This has happened so many times over the past two or three months that I am beginning to wonder what is going on with her...
Then there are things that we have worked on in the past that I am done working through and I have healed and moved on, but she proceeds to bring them up over and over and wants me to keep working on them. Sometimes she brings up things from so long ago that I have completely forgotten about them. She isn't purposely bringing up old stuff - it is like she has totally forgotten what we have done and she really wants me to be able to work through them. Only problem is, I've already done it!
She has never had a problem like this before. She usually has a much better memory than I do. I don't know if I should be worried about this or what. I tried talking to her about it about two or three weeks ago but she didn't seem to understand how concerned I was about it. And then the next session it was like we never had talked about it at all. Is this totally weird? Or am I reading way too much into things?
Sometimes I wonder if she is actually writing things down on her notepad that I am saying or if she is just scribbling nothing. She tells me she will e-mail me after our session - like a specific assignment for me or the splits, or things she wants me to bring to the next session, or things to start thinking about, etc - but she never e-mails me. And when I show up at the next session, she doesn't even mention the assignments she was suppose to e-mail me! It's just so confusing... She's not even old - she's about 42 or 43. I don't know. I just really don't know.
I didn't get to see her on Tuesday because her daughter was really sick and I thought I would be okay with it but today has just been so hard for me that I am really wishing I had seen her. Now I have to wait until next Friday because I start working full time on Monday, and that's only if her schedule works out.
And that's another thing. In our last session I told her that I would be switching to working full time during the summer and that I would need to start meeting with her on either Monday mornings or Friday afternoons. She told me that Friday afternoons would be perfect for her and to plan on that for the summer. So today I e-mailed her to confirm next Friday, and she told me that she didn't know if it would work and she would get back to me. Um...what?! She had just said that she could!! I am so confused....
I'm not sure what to do with this whole situation. I really love my T and I don't want to stop going to her, but I feel like something is going on with her that is starting to affect our sessions and my getting better. Should I bring it up with her again and see if we actually get somewhere with it? I just don't know...
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Work + No Sleep = Not Good
I wanted to give a little update on my ex-best friend Rae from my post a couple of days ago. We have talked every single day since then and things seem to be getting less awkward. I actually ended up running into her at Walmart TWICE on Saturday afternoon, so that was weird. I still don't know when we are going to have the big conversation, but I'm fine with putting it off for a little while longer.
Today has been really tough for me. I'm not sleeping so I am beyond exhausted. I was so tired today at work that I kept forgetting where I was, and then I would have to figure out what I was in the middle of doing. It was like before I was diagnosed with DID and having to constantly figure out my life (not that it is any different now with the diagnosis, but still...).
And some girls at work today were making fun of a lady who kept calling the office. She gave them five different names so the girls were saying she had multiple personalities. They then proceeded to make fun of her by imitating her and cracking rude jokes. I wanted to cry. They don't know that I have DID and if they did, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have done that. But there is no way that I will ever tell them so I just sat in my office and let them carry on. I was too shocked to say anything about it.
I sure do hope I sleep tonight. It seems that the more I try to find a way to sleep better, the harder it is for me to sleep. Sleeping used to be my favorite activity, and if I could sleep it would still be my favorite activity.
I might possibly being going on date #3 tomorrow night. I guess we'll see what happens!
-Bee
Today has been really tough for me. I'm not sleeping so I am beyond exhausted. I was so tired today at work that I kept forgetting where I was, and then I would have to figure out what I was in the middle of doing. It was like before I was diagnosed with DID and having to constantly figure out my life (not that it is any different now with the diagnosis, but still...).
And some girls at work today were making fun of a lady who kept calling the office. She gave them five different names so the girls were saying she had multiple personalities. They then proceeded to make fun of her by imitating her and cracking rude jokes. I wanted to cry. They don't know that I have DID and if they did, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have done that. But there is no way that I will ever tell them so I just sat in my office and let them carry on. I was too shocked to say anything about it.
I sure do hope I sleep tonight. It seems that the more I try to find a way to sleep better, the harder it is for me to sleep. Sleeping used to be my favorite activity, and if I could sleep it would still be my favorite activity.
I might possibly being going on date #3 tomorrow night. I guess we'll see what happens!
-Bee
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