I Didn't Want Them To Go...

I can’t find the words to describe this pain. Imagine that the things you love most in this world are taken from you. All you have ever known and loved, just gone. You will never see them again. A huge part of you is gone in a flash and you can’t do anything about it. You can’t bring those things back. You can’t wish them to appear again.

Saying that this is hard is an understatement. I feel like this is a huge mistake. I feel like I have done something very wrong. I feel like my whole world is crashing down around me and I just have to sit back and watch it crumble to nothing. I’m scared out of my mind.

I feel like I have to be strong for the people around me. I can’t let them know how badly this hurts me. I can’t let them see me fall apart. I can’t let them know my pain. I don’t want to disappoint them. I don’t want them to think I’m not okay.

But I’m not okay. I’m not okay. I can feel myself slipping back. I am so sad and so upset. I am emotionally drained and physically exhausted. I keep trying to find them but they aren’t there. I didn’t want them to go. I didn’t want them to go...