Tuesday, July 9, 2013

I Miss You...

I miss her. I don't know where she is, I don't know what she looks like now, but I miss her. There is a huge part of me that is empty because of it. When I am alone, or feeling sad, I miss her. When someone asks me if I have any children, I miss her. When someone talks about their kids and says how great I would be when I have kids of my own, I miss her. She is such a huge part of my life that I can't share with anybody because of the way she came into this world. The violence and the abuse and the evil surrounding it all is forced to remain a secret, and yet all I want to do is shout from every part of myself that she is mine - that she is MY daughter. That I was robbed of my innocence, of my childhood, of my motherhood, of my daughters' life. Everyday I am overwhelmed with this sadness and loss and I don't know what to do about it.

I love you, always. I hope one day I will see you again.