Sunday, August 7, 2011

Busy & Crazy But Good

My life has been one big bunch of craziness! I finally got the keys to my new classroom, so the past two weeks I have been at my school trying to put my classroom together. I do, however, LOVE that I'm busy again! I forgot how much I love being busy all the time...
For those of you who have been following me, you've heard a lot about my T. The new update - I have decided to keep my T until I have found a new therapist that is a good match for me and my system. At this point in time, I want to have support from a T who knows me but I don't want to see her unless I really need to. This gives me a chance to search for a new T while not stressing myself out.

My T, however, gained some points this past week. I'm sure those of you with DID can relate...

I have been having a really hard time with one of my alters. She is considered a "main alter" in my system, meaning she is out a lot and is a very positive influence. Lately she has been remembering some very awful memories and she is really struggling. My other main alters and I have been constantly searching for new ways and techniques to help her through this hard time but nothing has worked. I felt so helpless watching her suffer so much...

We decided, as a system, to have a short session with our T to explain to her the situation and see if she had any suggestions that might help us to figure this out. Our T ended up suggesting something we thought was totally all wrong for this alter and that it would only complicate things even more.We left her office feeling even more frustrated.

A few days later, one of my alters came to me and said that we should just try our T's suggestion. We all knew it was a long shot but after a cumulative vote, we agreed to try.

Not even 10 minutes had gone by and this alter was improving exponentially! I was so surprised by this that I couldn't even think straight. It has now been 4 days since we tried our T's suggestion and this alter is already back into the swing of things and doing so great!

So for now, our T has earned some major points and has been bumped back up to a person we can learn to trust again. This doesn't mean we're going to stick with her - I still want to find a new T. But this positive experience will help me to move on without feeling guilty and emotionally attached. I will be able to move on without negative feelings regarding her.

I hope you all have a fantastic week! I finally get my students on Monday!! SO excited!!!



  1. I am so elated that you found something to help out. A lot of times I am so weary about what my t suggests, but I know that she wouldn't be suggesting something if she thought it would hurt me or be dangerous. Blind faith, I guess.

    I can't wait to get up to school next week and start working in my classroom! I would have loved to do it this week but to save money my district won't be turning on the AC units in all the schools til tomorrow. The high here has been about 110 (no lie) for the past month, so there is no way I was going to work in that! I'm so excited for a new school year!

  2. That is great that the suggestion worked out for you and those in your system. It can be so difficult at times, especially when at times things seem so weary. I think looking for a new T is good, especially if your current T is not working out so well anymore.

  3. Lily,
    It's been about 115 here, which is normal for this time of year but I still think it's awful and brutal! Good luck with the new school year! It is truly the best job in the world, in my opinion :)

    Thank you for commenting. It took me a long time to finally get to this point of being okay with leaving my old T and looking for a new one.

  4. I'm glad your T gained some points and that her suggestion helped.

    Good luck with your new school year. I'll be heading to my classroom in the morning to start getting things ready.