Saturday, May 21, 2011

I'm Strong Enough To Do This

For those of you who have been following my blog, especially my last few posts, know that I've been having issues with my T. We were supposed to meet earlier this week - she cancelled. We were scheduled to meet today...she never showed up. I called her 5 times, left 3 voice-mails, and waited for over half an hour. She still hasn't called me back.

I left her office feeling like I had been abandoned and I felt so alone. I'm so sick of being treated like this every single time. I was so angry at her that I called another T that I had wanted to meet with a few months back. This new T answered right away and remembered who I was. I asked her if I could schedule to meet with her, and she happened to have a cancellation today. I said I'd be right over.

I ended up meeting with her today. I like her so far. She has worked with another DID patient before, although it has been a few years. This DID patient was not high-functioning and ended up stopping therapy after only a couple years into it. The new T told me she has worked with RA survivors before, one of them is currently still in therapy with her. She does not believe that integration is the answer for every DID patient, which I totally agree with! She is willing to work with me and is excited to work with me.

This seems all very new to me. I've had the same therapist for over 6 years now, so I feel very out of practice in finding a new one. I haven't told my current T about this new therapist... and I haven't told the new therapist about my current/old T. It's going to be a really hard thing for me to do.

It's been a very long day... I can't wait for the summer break, but at the same time I dread it.

Just one more week.

I'm strong enough to do this.



  1. Maybe you won't have to be the on to tell the old T. Let your new T request you medical files from old T. And give her some of her own medicine of just not showing up.

    I know I haven't posted a lot lately but I do read always. (((HUG))) TR

  2. Bee, i'm sorry ive not been around in forever. I wish it were not the case that SSSOOOO many therapists just cant seem to grasp the impact they have on "us" when they do things like this.
    I'm sorry for your continued pain in your therapy relationship - which, from what I "hear" (although I can't really grasp it at this point) is "supposed" to be HEALING.
    Yes, you can do this. I believe in you - as do all the others who support you.

  3. I don't blame you for seeking out a new T. I would have done the same thing. How sad it is that this has happened to you. I bet you feel devestated. I thinknit is good that you have stepped up and taken care of yourself.

  4. Yes! I think finding a new T is great! I don't live in a large enough city to do that, or I would, just for a new perspective. I've actually looked around and I know and/or are related to and/or THEY are working with someone I know and/or are related to. But I'm glad you are moving forward.