This is how the conversation with my mom went today...
(*We were discussing what to do about our little family trip this weekend for Thanksgiving. One of my abusers was invited by my parents to come with us for the three days.)
Me: I can't be around [abuser] anymore. It really stresses me out and it's very triggering.
Mom: We can't just tell her no. She is family. We're her only family left.
Me: Then I can't go with you guys.
Mom: You need to forgive [abuser] and come with us.
Me: I have forgiven [abuser]. But just because you forgive someone doesn't mean you should be around them.
Mom: You can be around [abuser] for three days.
Me: No, mom, I can't.
Mom: It's not always about you, Bee. Think of how [abuser] would feel all alone on Thanksgiving.
Me: Mom, I know you mean well but I can NOT go if [abuser] will be there. End of story.
Mom: You need to think of other people, not yourself.
And that's how it ended.
The abuser who was over at our house for dinner last week on Sunday was also over for dinner on Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and today (Tuesday). Why the H*LL is she over ALL THE TIME now?!?!
I honestly don't think anyone in my family takes me seriously except for Brooke and Bri. I swear, no matter how many times I ask my mom to please stop inviting this abuser over, she still invites her. And on the off-chance that my mom doesn't invite her over, my dad does - without telling anybody.
To make things worse, this abuser has been invited to our big family get-together this weekend for Thanksgiving. Three whole f***ing days with this abuser staying in the same house as me. Forget sleeping, eating, and breathing. I'm going to be too focused on not having a full blown panic attack.
I cannot wait until I move out of this house.
And my T wonders why we don't progress in therapy. I'm not only living with an abuser, but I have to constantly see some of my other abusers on a regular basis.
I am seriously fed up with this crap.