Friday, June 4, 2010

Proven Right

My whole life has been a struggle with doctors. I have had stomach issues since I was very young. For a long time I didn't tell anyone that I was in a lot of pain. By the time I was in high school, it was so bad that I couldn't even get out of bed in the morning without taking pain killers.

I started seeing doctor after doctor after doctor. Several tests were done, as well as X-rays, MRIs, CT Scans, the works. I have been on hundreds of different medications. All the tests would come back negative, and none of the medications would work. Each doctor I went to slowly gave up on me and would tell my mom that it was all in my head. That I was making it all up.

I struggled and fought my way to make someone believe me. To believe that I was experiencing real pain - that I wasn't making it up and that it wasn't something mental. I have lost several friends over the past couple of years because they thought I was faking ill to get attention. At times my mom would get so frustrated and fed up with me because no one could figure out what was going on. My dad hated paying for all the bills that were for "nothing".

After 17 years of struggling with this pain and sickness, I agreed to be muscle tested. I realize not many people believe in muscle testing, and I used to be one of those people because having DID makes it almost impossible to muscle test. My T wanted to know if my pain and illnesses were caused by something emotional/mental or if they were physical. The muscle testing results came back that confirmed that my pain and illnesses are from purely physical things.


My T was so surprised that all of my pain and illnesses were related to physical things. My parents were blown away. My doctors are stunned. But with this new knowledge, I can now be helped. They found that my body is not communicating with itself properly. My brain is constantly firing, which keeps me from sleeping at night. I start new medication for that tonight and I am so excited. They gave me vitamins and minerals that my body lacks from my very restricted diet. They put me on medications to "revive" my body so it will start communicating properly. My doctor thinks within a couple of months I may be able to start eating more normally again. Can you believe that?? I can hardly contain my joy!

In the session with T today, she didn't even know what she wanted me to work on for homework since my muscle testing results came back saying all of my issues were physical. So she told me I need to focus on getting better physically so we can start doing some "real work" in therapy.

I never thought the day would come when I would be proven right. And I'm so excited to be able to sleep!


P.S. My big tests are tomorrow - the ones I have to take to qualify to be a teacher. I'm nervous but I should know all of the things on the test. I just need to focus and let all of the splits know how important this is. Ahhh!

I am also going on my fourth date tomorrow with this guy. We're going to Jump Street which is basically a HUGE room filled with trampolines. How cool is that?!? I'm very excited!


  1. That is just...awesome. It's not good that you have a physical problem, but now they can treat you for something real that the doctors can actually see.

    I hope that you can start eating more normally soon. What is the one food you'd like to eat?


  2. Good luck on your test.

    I'm glad they figured out how to help you feel better.

  3. That is so great that you have gotten a diagnosis! I cannot imagine struggling with something like that and everyone thinking it was in my head. I think it is awesome that you always believed in yourself and you stuck with it until the issue was resolved. That is a strength for you, one that will take you far in life and in your therapy.

    I saw that you are wanting to become a teacher. I am a teacher. Actually, I substitute teach right now. I moved to another state about 6 years ago, and I haven't been able to find a full time teaching position. It is tough because I have 14 years teaching experience and a Master's Degree, so I'm high on the pay scale. With the economy the way it is, districts are hiring a lot of new teachers and very few at my level. I have always taught in elementary. I have taught in the regular classroom and as a special education teacher working with children with emotional/behavioral disorder.

    I am actually going back to school to get another Master's degree, this time in Social Work. I am very excited about that because I have always enjoyed the work I've done with troubled children.

    I just think it's cool you are going to be a teacher. It is a wonderful profession, and I wish you all the luck in the world.

  4. Lisa,
    I really miss bean burrito's. I used to eat those like they were going out of style!

    Thank you :)

    Thank you! I am so excited to do my student teaching and start teaching in January! I love working with students both in special ed and regular ed. I wish you the best of luck with going on for another Master's and with finding a job!