Saturday, June 12, 2010

Illness and Assignments

I am back from my trip. I honestly would have loved to just stay home this time...

I started new medications last Friday after I went to get re-tested by my doctor. Saturday morning I was very ill and I thought I wouldn't be able to do my tests, but I did them anyway. I took it easy the rest of the day until my date and then went to bed afterward. Sunday I woke up so ill that I could hardly get out of bed. I still made the crazy decision to go to the beach.

I spent the majority of the time in my tent lying in my sleeping bag just wanting to die from the amount of pain I was in. Little did I know that I was having a severe allergic reaction to one of my new medications. I was finally able to eliminate the culprit by Thursday morning and stop taking it. The whole week I was wishing I had just stayed at home.

I had a session with my T today. She gave me some interesting assignments for the week and I would like to share them.

My first assignment is to be out, ALONE, for two hours a day. My T wants me, Bee, to be out - all by myself - for two hours a day. She suggested that I start this by having the two hours be with my grandparents at their house. It is a safe environment and my splits don't feel the need to protect me as much when I am at their house. I am a little scared for this assignment and I'm also wondering how well it will work right now, especially with the rapid switching still going on. But I promised I would try it out this week. If I can only manage one hour a day then that is better than none at all.

My second assignment is to find a healthy, physical outlet for Kate to come out and participate in. I have been having more problems than usual with her this past week. She has been coming out to destroy things the other splits have made or done and has been picking on Allie mercilessly. She is on a tear and it is driving me insane. Our trampoline broke so that outlet is gone, and since I have been so sick I cannot always go running every day. So I need to find something physical for her to do to get all of her bottled up anger out in a constructive way. If anyone has any suggestions of healthy, physical outlets that have worked for you or your alters or someone you know, please let me know!

My third assignment is to work with the splits to figure out what things each individual is allergic to - including me. This will probably take more than a week but my T wants us to at least start on it. I am both interested and annoyed by the process we will have to go through to get to that point, but I am hoping it will be worth it and very beneficial to all of us.

And my fourth and final assignment is to do everything in my power to get physically better. Staying up until 3:30am is probably not helping...but I can't help it if I cannot sleep.

I have been so exhausted today. I feel like I need to take a vacation from my vacation.

And I promise I am still working on those posts I mentioned before.

I hope you all have a great weekend!



  1. Good luck, Bee. She gave you a bunch of hard things to do. Or, they would be for me, anyway. For exercise, I used to put some great music on and close the shades and dance like nobody's watching!

  2. Wow! That's a lot to work on! Or, as Ivory said, it would be for me. I hope you feel better soon, physically. I understand how draining that can be.

  3. Good luck with all your assignments. I like the assignment of just you being out for two hours a day. I'll have to try that one.

  4. Ivory,
    Being out by myself will be hard... the rest seem easy compared to that. Although finding an outlet for Kate will also be a challenge. I like to be given difficult stuff to work on. When I accomplish/finish them I feel like I have really made progress and it motivates me for the next assignment. I do like the dancing idea! I don't think Kate would like it but I sure would :)

    It will be a lot of work but I'm ready! And thank you, I hope I feel better soon too. I hate being sick. I've been sick almost my whole life and I'm ready to be done with it. I just have to let myself heal.

    Thanks! It has been hard being out. So far I haven't done it for the full two hours because it is just so hard. I hope to work up to it though. You'll have to let me know how it goes if you try it!


  5. That was tough homework! Every little bit counts, so I'm sure you'll get to the full two hours soon. I wonder if it will have an effect on your health?

    Take it easy.


  6. How sad you were so sick on your beach trip. :( I hope you are feeling better now.