Friday, September 3, 2010

Opinions Greatly Appreciated

Your opinions are greatly appreciated on this post. It is okay if you disagree with me, but please tell me why. And if you agree, please tell me why! I want some other opinions/thoughts on this because right now I feel outnumbered and I want some kind of valid reason either way.

For those of you who have been following my blog at least for the past month or two, know about me going to the new therapist and the new t releasing all of my splits. For those who haven't been reading, you can go to this post and catch up.

My t and I have been able to bring the majority of my splits back but now I'm having the issue of all of their emotions. Basically it's a bunch of individuals who have been abused their whole lives who were suddenly released from me with no warning, no permission, no anything whatsoever. Now that they are back, most of them are pretty upset and are trying to adjust back to what they remember as "normal" but they are afraid of being released again.

I tried explaining this to my t and she told me that she understands that the younger alters are upset and having a difficult time, but she believes that the older ones (like 11 years old and older) shouldn't be having a problem with it and should just "get over it and move on".

Now, I have splits who are upset ranging from 5 years old to about 24 years old. If they were separate people, who had their own bodies and who had "normal" singleton lives, I would understand my t saying "get over it and move on." BUT these are my alters, who have seen and experienced horrific things and who were released from their purpose/duty in life - everything they have ever known - without any warning or anything. I think they have a right to be upset and angry and depressed and having an overall hard time with it.

Is that valid? Don't they have that right to be upset and afraid? Even if they are 24 years old?

I think they do have a right to be upset and to be afraid and to be having a hard time. It really bothered me that my t said that the older ones should just "get over it and move on." I'm not okay with that. I feel like she should know and understand how hard it has been for them and for myself. I don't know... Am I totally irrational in my thinking? Or do they have a right to be upset and afraid?

Your opinion is most helpful at this point. It doesn't matter if you agree or disagree, I just want to know what other people think about this....


  1. I think your points are valid. They may be in their teens or 20's but I think it would be hard for anyone to be "let go" like that. I would be surprised if they weren't upset at all because I don't think that would be normal...


  2. I think they have a right to feel upset. They need to work through it not just get over it.

  3. I agree with you, Bee. This is way different than a typical 24 young adult (or any age, for that matter). I hope your therapist can understand this and help everyone inside work through what happened. First the trauma of losing the splits, then the stress of bringing them back, and now each of them having to get their head on straight, oy. Hugs!

  4. If we were in your shoes we would be looking for a new therapist who specializes in trauma with DID clients...I don't think your t has a clue, healing is not an event but a process, there is no quick fix and when a therapist starts to look for one there in over their heads. Sorry if this sounds harsh but when you t makes a mistake out of ignorance your humanity pays over and over again. She doesn't sound like she's owning her mistake..."get over it and move on" is putting the blame on you guys and trying to shame you into silence.

  5. I agree w/ the others.....start looking for a new therapist. The one you have now does not fully understand what she is dealing with. They have a right to be upset and they also have a right to be heard and helped by your therapist, who clearly isn't giving them the help they need.


  6. I agree Bee,

    They have the right to be upset! They are there because of abuse that happened to you. From their point of view that too is abuse! My alters would have a difficult time to trust after that happened to them..

    You don’t deserve to feel like you’ve been abused.

    You would know if she is the right therapist for you. If she is - I would urge you to talk to her about everything you have been feeling. If it was only a “mistake” from her part I really hope that you can learn and find a way to trust her again to get the healing you deserve..

  7. Everyone has the right to feel however they feel. Emotions aren't wrong to have, whatever they may be. Whether you're talking about a kid, a teen, an adult, an inside person or outside person - every emotion is valid and okay to have. I have this discussion a lot when it comes to jealousy - you can't just not have the emotion you have.

    The last few months of stuff I've read about your therapist makes me really dislike her. But I'm reading this over a year later - I'm hoping that you have a different therapist by the time I catch up. This one rubs me wrong, by being unavailable and unreliable all the time.