Saturday, July 10, 2010

Just When You Think It's Going To Be Okay

Friday was really rough for me...

The day started out fine. I went to work like I do every morning. We were really busy which was good. But at lunch time I checked my cell phone and there was a text from my mom that said, "please call me when you get a chance."

I hadn't talked to her in a few days and I felt like this was something really important, so I called her right away. She told me that the boy I had been tutoring for the past two years had gotten into drugs and other things and was getting into all kinds of trouble. Let's call him M. I met M and his sister H just before he started 7th grade, and she was about to start 4th grade. Their dad had met my dad at the gym they both worked out at and their dad had mentioned that he needed a nanny/tutor for his two kids. My dad said he had a daughter (me) who would love to do something like that. At the time, I had just moved back in with my parents and I was looking for a job. So this seemed like the perfect opportunity.

I started out by basically babysitting them during the week while their dad worked during the summer since they were out of school. H loved to play games so I taught her a bunch of different card games and how to play Clue really well. M loved anything to do with guns, camping, and fishing, but he also had this secret love for reading. Whenever it was just me and him, I would read to him and he thought it was the greatest thing ever.

When school started, I switched to the role of tutor. I would attend my college classes during the day and do my interning at the elementary school, and then once school was over I would go to their house and tutor them for a few hours. The first year I mostly tutored M because he was having a hard time transitioning from 6th grade to junior high and just lacked motivation to do his homework and studying. We had a great time together and I felt like he was making remarkable progress.

Once the school year was over, I started a new job (the one I have now) and did not babysit them like I had the summer before. But once school started I went back to tutoring M and H. M was doing much better in school at this point and he did not need as much help. H on the other hand was struggling a lot. She had not learned her multiplication facts and still struggled with addition and subtraction. Her dad was really worried that she would be held back. As I worked with her more closely, I started to observe her. At first I suspected she had some kind of dissociative disorder. She wouldn't remember very important things about herself or about her day, and she would refer to herself in third person. After she got really comfortable around me, I started to notice different voices and she had different handwriting's. I began to suspect that she had DID.

After I had come to that conclusion, she went to go live with her mom (their parents are separated) and I didn't see her as much after that. I then just tutored M about twice a week and other days as needed. The second semester of his 8th grade year, I was tutoring about once a week.

I saw M about 3 months ago and he seemed to be doing great. And now I find out he is doing drugs and getting into trouble. According to his dad, it his M's mom's fault (she has some severe mental problems and is very controlling). I believe this is mostly the mom's fault and I wish I could do something for M. He is such a sweet kid and hearing this news is just heartbreaking.

His dad is trying to get sole custody of his two kids so their mom doesn't have all this influence on them and he asked me if I would write him a character reference letter for court. I told him I would definitely do it for him. He is such an awesome dad and I would hate for his kids to lose out on that.

~To be continued~

1 comment:

  1. Oh no =( This is so terrible...I'm so sorry Bee.