I have had a rough couple of days...
I was doing pretty good this past week. I wasn't feeling too sick and work was going good. My T had to change our appointment from our usual Friday afternoons to Thursday afternoon this week so I had to take two days off of work. The session with T this week was really hard and I left feeling completely drained and emotionally unstable. T said she would call me later that evening to make sure I was doing okay.
She never called.
In the back of my mind I knew she wouldn't call. She always tells me she is going to call and she never does. Something comes up with one of her kids or she gets to busy or she gets sick or she falls asleep. Whatever the case may be, she never calls.
But this was one of those times where she really needed to call. I haven't really been out since Thursday. Because when I do come out, I have bizarre hallucinations and horrifying nightmares about being sexually abused again. These hallucinations finally stopped a few hours ago but I still have a feeling that the nightmares will still be here.
I have been so sick since Thursday night too. I've spent the majority of the weekend in bed or lying down. My family went up to our cabin in the mountains this weekend for 4th of July and I didn't even go outside the whole trip. I ended up coming home early today with my sister Bri.
My thoughts feel so scrambled so I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense at all. I just wish T would call me when she says she is going to.