Sunday, August 15, 2010

Almost to the Breaking Point

I'm almost there... you know... to the Breaking Point.

I feel like I'm losing it. I feel like everything is lost and confusing and unbearably hard.

I feel depressed and alone and scared. I feel like things are impossible.

But tomorrow I have to put on the "I'm okay" mask. I have to be confident, secure, and happy. I have to be brave, courageous, understanding, and hopeful. I have to be a leader, a friend, a helping hand. I have to be okay, even when underneath it feels like I will fall to pieces at any moment.

And somehow I will do it.

But right now I'm standing at the bottom of Mt. Everest with no climbing gear in hand, and I'm expected to reach the top.


  1. Try some deeeep breaths, in and out 'k? When I hit rough patches similar to what you describe sometimes it's all I can do to breathe, and to go through the motions when I have to. As you seem to have to tomorrow.

    You signed on for student teaching for some good reasons I'm guessing, part of some larger plan? Try to let those good reasons help you get through the day.

    You mentioned in your last post you might call your T? Were you able to?

    Try to get some rest. It will help you tomorrow.

    Take care,


  2. Wish we could make it all better. Hoping the student teaching will take your mind off things some and help you feel better. I know you enjoy that. You're making it, remember that! And ditto to everything Sarah said. Safe hugs!

    Michelle & some

  3. Dear Bee,
    I'm sorry for your pain...I have no words of wisdom to offer, but I'm here listening and caring....

  4. I'm sorry you're not doing well at the moment. It's hard having to pretend you're okay when you're really not.
    Keep hanging in there.

    Take care,
    Cassie x

  5. It's Tuesday now, Bee. How are you doing? You're in our thoughts.