Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to not have the voices in my head. I would definitely miss them. We have some pretty good times. Laura always makes me laugh; Carly and Lynn keep me in a good mood; Janelle always has profound insights to just about anything; Tayela keeps everything organized and moving forward. It all seems so normal to have everyone here all the time. I'm almost afraid of losing them.
When my therapist first mentioned integration a few years ago, I freaked out. I rejected it immediately. I felt like she could never understand what it would be like to suddenly lose your sole support group. Now, my perspective is still pretty much the same but now I understand why she wanted full integration to be the goal. She wanted to give me a chance to have a "normal" life.
I actually did integrate quite a few of my splits. I originally had 103 and now I have 27. It was way too crowded and confusing with 103. Sometimes it's crazy with 27 but I feel like I know them so well.
I'm not sure where I am going with this post... but even though every day is a challenge with DID, I am glad they are here. And I am glad I am not the only one who has this. I am sad with why myself and others have DID, but I think it shows people how strong our minds can be when we are faced with horrible things.