Saturday, March 13, 2010

Rough Day

I have not eaten anything today because my stomach is in so much pain. My acidity levels are astronomical and my insides feel like they are on fire.

My mom was bugging me again today. She made a comment about how I am more of a roommate than a member of the family. That made me feel terrific - not. Sometimes I wonder if she really knows what she is saying.

Of course the statement upset some of the splits. Allie is already upset from a memory that came up Wednesday night and now she is more upset because she doesn't think mom loves her. Janelle got pissed off and was taking it out on one of our sister's earlier. Sometimes I feel like I cannot control what they are saying - it just comes out and it looks like I'm the one that said it! That's one of the reason's I hate being co-conscious. I would rather not know...

I have spent the majority of the day in bed, doing homework. Not an ideal way to spend a Saturday, but it's typical for me I guess. I figured I would have less of these days now that the doctor's figured out why I am so sick, but alas, I am still just as sick. I know they told me it would take several months, possibly years, but it's better to hope for the best - even if the best never comes.

Laura didn't make any funny comments today, probably because she doesn't feel good either. It sucks when we all feel sick. Most of the time it is just me and a few others. Today it seemed like everyone felt sick. That's usually a bad sign...

Lately I have been doing a lot more research on DID/MPD and I have found multiple (no pun intended) blogs of other people who have DID. It has been nice to read what they have written. It lets me know I'm not alone in this.