Wednesday, March 10, 2010


My mom has been driving me crazy lately. I had to move back in with my parents about a year and a half ago because I got too sick to be living on my own and having to work and pay for everything. Anyway, ever since I moved back in, my mom has seemed to latch onto me and follows me everywhere. She texts me and calls me all the time and is always asking me where I am and what I am doing. I swear it drives me NUTS!

I don't know how you guys with DID feel about this, but I HATE when someone asks me if "I" am out. My mom CONSTANTLY asks me "Are YOU out?" Like an instant after those words come out of her mouth, my blood starts to boil and I feel all this rage come from no where. I feel hurt and betrayed and I don't know if I am overreacting, but it is really offensive to me. Like she should know if it is "me" or not. And who cares if it is me or one of my splits? All of them make up who I am too. We have all been together for so long that we are basically one, even though we are all so different. They have been there for me through the toughest of times and sometimes I don't think other people realize that and I don't think they can ever understand that.

Anyway, my mom seems to make things worse for me in that sense. She's always asking me "Are you fixed yet?" I think she wants me to be "normal" so badly that she tries whatever pops into her head to make me that way, and it just doesn't work like that. I don't think I will ever be normal. Especially after all I have been through - hence the multiple personalities!

This has turned into me venting and I am sorry... I just wonder if any other multiples have someone like this who just constantly goes after them for having splits?


  1. No one knows. I'm not ever completely sure.

    I haven't read all of your story and who am
    I anyway to even share my thinking on such
    a hard subject. But I was wondering if your
    mom was ever abused? Do you think she may
    be trying to figure out if she has alts?

    *shrugging* just a thought.


  2. Sometimes I wish no one knew that I had DID.

    My mom was never abused and she doesn't have alters. She's a perfectionist and likes things to be very normal. Having me for a daughter drives her crazy most of the time because I don't fit the "normal" she is use to.

  3. "No one knows. I'm not ever completely sure."

    Here is a little secret... Sometimes I wonder if I truly have DID. There have been several times over the last 4 years that I've told my therapist that I don't think I have DID.

    I do know that I have DID, but there is always going to be those times where you doubt it because of something someone says or something you find in research or online that doesn't quite match up to your experience.

  4. I know how you feel about doubting it sometimes. I'm having one of those moments myself. I think back to a week or so ago when I was patting myself on the back for finally coming to the realisation that I definitely do have it... and now I'm telling myself I made it all up again. Maybe this is just the way it will be for us.

  5. I used to doubt it ALL the time. Now I go a few months before doubting myself again. It was really bad when my mom would constantly say, "Are you sure you have DID?" She finally believes, thank goodness.

    It is just something you have to prove to yourself constantly, I guess.