Sunday, May 16, 2010

Pain

My whole life has revolved around pain - both physical and emotional. I have many physical problems - TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint disorder - (severe pain in jaw)), Fibromyalgia, severe food allergies, severe allergies in general, head migraines, abdominal migraines, collapsed foot, and the list goes on... I am constantly being prescribed pain meds and muscle relaxers just so I can get out of bed in the morning. Most of these things will get worse over time and are not treatable.

For the past week I have been having severe TMJ pain so I have been taking Ibuprofen (which I am very allergic to). It helps with the pain enough to tolerate it, but the ibuprofen just totally eats up and destroys my stomach - causing a whole new severe pain. Every day I contemplate if I want severe jaw pain and a little stomach pain or severe stomach pain and a little jaw pain. Neither is preferred, and both result in me not being able to eat. I just want to cry.

Today I have been trying so hard not to take the ibuprofen, but right now my jaw is screaming at me and it is causing a lovely head migraine which is also starting to scream at me. I want to cave in a just take the ibuprofen but I know my stomach will be so upset. I wish I could find a doctor who could help me with my TMJ. I have tried so many doctors with only temporary relief. Surgery is not an option for me because of how severe my TMJ is. The doctors are afraid I will be worse off with surgery. Right now I want my jaw to be removed completely.

Tomorrow I start working full time, which means I will be partially moving in with my grandparents so I don't have to drive an hour to work and an hour back home. I'm really looking forward to this arrangement because it will give me a much needed break from my family and it will allow me to spend time with my grandparents. I absolutely love them and they are such an amazing example to me.

I am going to take some ibuprofen now. Maybe I can sleep through the stomach pain....

4 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you're in pain that way. Can you take something like Mobic for the pain and swelling?

    I have TMJ from a bicycle accident and I can't chew gum, my jaw pops all day, I avoid anything too chewy, etc. Is it the same with you? Mine is not as severe as yours sounds, though. The new fibromyalgia meds might help with the TMJ, too. What does your doctor think?

    Maybe you could blend all of your food in a blender and sip it through a straw? No? Okay........

    Lisa

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  2. Sending you my concern. I have such empathy for jaw pain my dear. I know that I have jaw pain because it is a body memory and also because I don't say what I want to say around my family.

    Have you asked for a blessing? This always helps me so much. You are so brave and strong.

    Hugs,
    Vicki

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  3. Hi,

    I can relate to a lot of what you are going through with health issues. I go through so much. Have you ever looked at gluten intolerance? I have found some relief in not eating or using things with gluten in them. My muscles are more relaxed and I have less pain, though still a lot remains. Good and healing thoughts to you.

    Kate

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  4. Lisa,
    There aren't very many things I can take because I always have such bad reactions to things (or my splits do). It is the strangest thing and so far no one can figure out why I react so badly most of the time. Muscle relaxers tend to help me the most but they knock me out for days and most of the time makes me very ill.
    It's funny you mention the blending of food... I was on a 3 month no chew diet back in 2007 and I had to blend all of my food and eat baby food. It's actually not too bad once you get over the gross factor. But then my body went all weird and I had to eat baby food for about a year which did wonders for my TMJ but now my diet is so slim that blending my food is a pain. But my TMJ pain is so bad now that even if I did blend my food, it wouldn't help very much.

    Vicki,
    Thank you. Jaw pain is one of the worst pains, in my opinion. I have asked for a blessing, and I am hoping to get one this Saturday when I get back to my parents house. I have had several blessings over the years and what I have learned from the experience is that one of my bigger trials in life is having to deal with pain. I know the blessings are helping me though because it has kept me out of the hospital for a few years now and I am basically surviving off of about 500 calories or less a day with no major complications.

    Kate,
    Of my many allergies, gluten is one of them. I can only eat strawberries, cantaloupe, carrots, peas, broccoli, cauliflower, squash, zucchini, green beans, celery, basmati rice, rice milk, red potatoes, and gluten free corn chex and that is it. I am allergic to everything else – including salt, sugar, butter, etc. My body can’t handle proteins, fats, or sugars at all. I’m lucky to be alive right now!

    Thank you all for your comments!
    -Bee

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