My whole life has revolved around pain - both physical and emotional. I have many physical problems - TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint disorder - (severe pain in jaw)), Fibromyalgia, severe food allergies, severe allergies in general, head migraines, abdominal migraines, collapsed foot, and the list goes on... I am constantly being prescribed pain meds and muscle relaxers just so I can get out of bed in the morning. Most of these things will get worse over time and are not treatable.
For the past week I have been having severe TMJ pain so I have been taking Ibuprofen (which I am very allergic to). It helps with the pain enough to tolerate it, but the ibuprofen just totally eats up and destroys my stomach - causing a whole new severe pain. Every day I contemplate if I want severe jaw pain and a little stomach pain or severe stomach pain and a little jaw pain. Neither is preferred, and both result in me not being able to eat. I just want to cry.
Today I have been trying so hard not to take the ibuprofen, but right now my jaw is screaming at me and it is causing a lovely head migraine which is also starting to scream at me. I want to cave in a just take the ibuprofen but I know my stomach will be so upset. I wish I could find a doctor who could help me with my TMJ. I have tried so many doctors with only temporary relief. Surgery is not an option for me because of how severe my TMJ is. The doctors are afraid I will be worse off with surgery. Right now I want my jaw to be removed completely.
Tomorrow I start working full time, which means I will be partially moving in with my grandparents so I don't have to drive an hour to work and an hour back home. I'm really looking forward to this arrangement because it will give me a much needed break from my family and it will allow me to spend time with my grandparents. I absolutely love them and they are such an amazing example to me.
I am going to take some ibuprofen now. Maybe I can sleep through the stomach pain....