Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Running With Mom

Mom convo Part 1
Mom convo Part 2

I went running again this morning (I can't remember if I mentioned yesterday that I am going running in the mornings again) and well...my mom was up when I was about to leave - so she asked to tag along.

Some of you know that I HATE talking in the mornings. It doesn't matter who I am talking to, I just don't like it. My splits know that, my sisters know that, my friends know that, so they know not to talk to me until I say something.

Apparently my mom doesn't remember that little quirk about me, and to make things a little more irritating was her asking if she could go running with me. I go running because it really helps me and my splits to bond. It is our special "alone time" in nature. It is our time to heal with each other and to do something we all love. If someone is with us, it just doesn't have the same effect.

So I let my mom come this morning. I stuck in my ipod headphones and started running.

Of course, my mom being who she is, started talking to me. It started out with the normal day to day things "so and so did this yesterday" and "I have to take so and so to the doctor" and "Grandma found another article for you about health" and so on. Nothing triggering, but I don't like talking in the morning or hearing someone talking in the morning.

About a mile into it, she started asking me about my splits. Instead of freaking out about it, I told myself "you can be in control of this situation. Mom is not trying to bully you, she just wants to know more. You don't have to answer her questions if you don't want to. You don't have to make it a big deal out of it. Stay calm. If you feel threatened or unsure, tell her you don't want to talk about it anymore."

And surprisingly, IT WORKED! I felt very in control of the situation. I didn't let her questions offend me or bother me. When she asked something I didn't feel comfortable answering, I would tell her that. It was a very good conversation. I felt so proud of myself!

We finished our run and I went on with my day, but it just felt so good to finally have a conversation with my mom that didn't end badly. I think these boundaries are working :)

My last final was today. I think it went well. I felt really confident on the first 60 questions, and then I just had this feeling of wanting to be DONE so I didn't really give it my best on the last 15 questions... Oh well. I just hope I pass it!

I am so incredibly tired today... I took two naps - that's how tired I am! I never sleep and I took TWO naps! Hopefully tonight I will actually get some sleep and be at a functioning level tomorrow.

I see my T in the morning (she was sick today so she rescheduled for tomorrow). This past week was one of those weeks where I didn't feel like I really needed to see my T, but I like the consistency and the support she provides so I will go anyway. Who knows, something completely random could pop up in our session.

I hope you all are having a fabulous week!



  1. That is great! It's even better that she respected your boundaries.

    Best of luck on your finals, too. I had a love/hate relationship with college finals. On the one hand I enjoyed showing what I knew and how to apply it on the test. On the other hand, my butt really hurt after an hour-and-a-half.


  2. Isn't it really awesome when we can see growth in ourselves? :-)

  3. Boundaries! I love boundaries! I am happy for you that your strength and determination came thru for you. I believe that your mother found a bit more respect for you during that run, too. :)

  4. Lisa,
    I really suck at taking tests - especially multiple choice... I really hope I did well!


    I love boundaries too! It was so nice to just calmly be in the situation and not feel victimized or pressured into anything. Simply wonderful :)

    Thank you all for your comments!

  5. Bee, how wonderful that you were able to put the boundaries you needed in place with your mom. It's never easy and I smiled when I read this. Your strength and healing is glowing through!
    ~ Grace

  6. Isn't it funny that everyone saw the boundaries in this post and my mind stopped at the second paragraph.

    ****Some of you know that I HATE talking in the mornings. It doesn't matter who I am talking to, I just don't like it. My splits know that, my sisters know that, my friends know that, so they know not to talk to me until I say something.

    I've been married 12 yrs.
    Husband can NOT get this thru his thick skull!
    I've asked him "WHY do you make me be mean to you this early in the morning?" I'm not a mean person! Ever! Except for the first 1 1/2 hours of every day!
    They just don't get it.


  7. Anonymous,
    Haha yes! That is funny!

    And, to this day, my mom STILL talks to me in the mornings! I am also not a mean person at all, but if you talk to me in the mornings I turn into something vicious!