Mom convo Part 1
Mom convo Part 2
I went running again this morning (I can't remember if I mentioned yesterday that I am going running in the mornings again) and well...my mom was up when I was about to leave - so she asked to tag along.
Some of you know that I HATE talking in the mornings. It doesn't matter who I am talking to, I just don't like it. My splits know that, my sisters know that, my friends know that, so they know not to talk to me until I say something.
Apparently my mom doesn't remember that little quirk about me, and to make things a little more irritating was her asking if she could go running with me. I go running because it really helps me and my splits to bond. It is our special "alone time" in nature. It is our time to heal with each other and to do something we all love. If someone is with us, it just doesn't have the same effect.
So I let my mom come this morning. I stuck in my ipod headphones and started running.
Of course, my mom being who she is, started talking to me. It started out with the normal day to day things "so and so did this yesterday" and "I have to take so and so to the doctor" and "Grandma found another article for you about health" and so on. Nothing triggering, but I don't like talking in the morning or hearing someone talking in the morning.
About a mile into it, she started asking me about my splits. Instead of freaking out about it, I told myself "you can be in control of this situation. Mom is not trying to bully you, she just wants to know more. You don't have to answer her questions if you don't want to. You don't have to make it a big deal out of it. Stay calm. If you feel threatened or unsure, tell her you don't want to talk about it anymore."
And surprisingly, IT WORKED! I felt very in control of the situation. I didn't let her questions offend me or bother me. When she asked something I didn't feel comfortable answering, I would tell her that. It was a very good conversation. I felt so proud of myself!
We finished our run and I went on with my day, but it just felt so good to finally have a conversation with my mom that didn't end badly. I think these boundaries are working :)
My last final was today. I think it went well. I felt really confident on the first 60 questions, and then I just had this feeling of wanting to be DONE so I didn't really give it my best on the last 15 questions... Oh well. I just hope I pass it!
I am so incredibly tired today... I took two naps - that's how tired I am! I never sleep and I took TWO naps! Hopefully tonight I will actually get some sleep and be at a functioning level tomorrow.
I see my T in the morning (she was sick today so she rescheduled for tomorrow). This past week was one of those weeks where I didn't feel like I really needed to see my T, but I like the consistency and the support she provides so I will go anyway. Who knows, something completely random could pop up in our session.
I hope you all are having a fabulous week!