Friday, April 9, 2010


I don't know why, but I am very intense when it comes to privacy - especially my privacy. I think it is because I was robbed of it my whole life growing up - sexual, physical, emotional, verbal, and ritual abuse. Now I tend to hide everything and anything I can, including this blog - nobody knows about it except for you and the other people who read it. No one in my family knows, none of my friends, not even my T. I am very particular and very aware of everything when it comes to my privacy.

I have another blog, one for my friends who do not know I have DID. I told two of my sisters about it because I trusted them not to tell anybody in the family about it. I just wanted to have a place to write my random thoughts and share some things with friends and I just didn't want my other family members to read it - especially my parents and my abusers. I come home to find that my younger of the two sister's I told about my blog, decided to show it to my mom. So while I was at work today, my mom read my entire blog (not this one, thank goodness). When I came home from work, my mom came right up to me and said, "So I read your entire blog today." I marched straight to my sister's room and almost screamed at her, asking her why in the world she would tell our mom! I've been fuming ever since. It may seem ridiculous, but I feel like I have lost the trust between us. I feel like she stabbed me in the back. I cannot believe she would do that.

Sometimes I really wonder what is going through her head. She was never abused so she doesn't understand what it is like for me or why I am the way I am.

I'm so fed up with people breaking their promises or doing things that I ask them not to do.



  1. I'm sorry your sister has no boundaries or respect for your wishes. In my family, my 4 siblings often vie for acceptance from our mother by telling her everyone's "secrets". She is very controlling and believes she has the right to know everything about everyone. That's how she controls - knowing everything. You are wise to protect your privacy. You can change your blog address and name. It's a bit of work for you, but you will gain some privacy back - and control. You have a right to control your life.

  2. Ivory,
    My mom also does the same thing - controls everyone by knowing everything. She usually tries to suck things out of people before they even know what they are saying to her.
    I know I can change my blog address and such but I guess I feel like I shouldn't have to do that. I feel like this didn't need to happen. For now I have set it to private until I can figure out what I want to do. Thanks for your comment.


  3. hurts and offenses are always very serious
    in my world. i take them extremely personally.
    when i trust i trust with every ounce. if you
    break that trust it is near impossible to earn
    it back. which is very sad for my husband. :(

    be frugal with your trust is my advise.
    but who am i? you've only just met me here
    the last couple days.