Monday, April 5, 2010

System Failure

I've had a crappy couple of days...

I think I have been holding back from telling how I really have been doing the past few days.

My splits have gone mad, crazy, insane, whatever you want to call it. They won't stop screaming at each other. The great system we had is shot, gone, beaten, down the tube, whatever you want to call it.

I'm not out long enough to even know what day or time it is right now. Good thing my alarm clock tells me both.

Which means I have a therapy session tomorrow. I bet my T is going to be soooo happy...not.

And to top it all off - I tried to talk to my mom this morning, but when I got up, she wasn't home. Then when she got home, she had to leave again. Then I had to leave and I just barely got home, so I still haven't had the chance to talk with her. I'm going to try really hard to do it this week. I just hope my splits have calmed down by then.

I should be stressed out by this point but I'm not. I think that is a little strange... Has anybody had their splits scream at each other before for more than a day? Do you have any suggestions on how I should get mine to stop? I've run out of idea's at this point. And I bet my T won't know what to do tomorrow either.

Fun times.



  1. Awful. The only way I could get it to stop when it was that bad is to call my T and go to him and let him deal with them. He always got some sort of semblence of normalcy going. Once, he had to call my daughter and have her come help because the one who was out wouldn't give it up and let me come back. What I learned from it all back then is that my alters still believed their job was to protect me, even tho they didn't need to. You are so stressed, and who wouldn't be right now, and I'm just guessing that someone is trying to ease that stress and protect you by keeping you from talking to your mother and, well, it isn't working so well. Does you T work with your splits or are they banned from the session? This is all just speculation as I know everyone is so different, so if it doesnt't feel right, take it with a grain of sand. I wish you well and hope you find a way thru the mist of it all.

  2. Ivory,

    They finally stopped, thank goodness. I also had one that wouldn't let me come back out and it got so bad that my T had to integrate her just so I could come back. My splits definitely still feel that their sole job is to protect me. They aren't "banned" from the session per say but my T and I have found that it is better if I am out during the session unless a split really needs to work through something - and all of my splits agree with this way of doing therapy. My T is going to send my splits a letter this week to see why they are fighting so much, since they won't talk to me about it. I am crossing my fingers, hoping that it will work out. Thank you so much for your comments. It really helps to know that I'm not alone in this.